How Failure Led To My Self Discovery

HOW FAILURE LED TO MY SELF DISCOVERY

(True life story)

Life isn’t a bed full of roses. We’ve all had our own ugly share of life. There’s a saying that goes “Our ability to get back right up from every setback determines how strong we are”, that saying isn’t far from the truth, it IS in fact the truth. 

Back in 2015, I was a student of the University of the West of England, Bristol. I was to be happy right? I mean, schooling in a foreign developed country far away from home, things should be on a smooth sail. But not at all, reverse was the case.  I was studying engineering, a foundation program. I knew deep down, I wasn’t cut out for such course, my math was weak and I dreaded physics so what the hell was I doing offering engineering? I just kept on deceiving myself because I felt my parents were proud to have their first born studying engineering, it was always on the lips of my mum, I didn’t want to take that joy away from them, I had already come a long way anyway. Besides, even if I was given the opportunity to change course, I had no idea what I wanted to do.

Things were not smooth for me at all education wise, I had no social life trust me. Moreover, I was losing a lot of friends back in Nigeria because they were left with the thought that I had forgotten about them as I was in “obodo-oyibo”, to be very honest, I had no time for myself talk more keeping up with friends. I was having sleepless nights on a steady streak studying only mathematics, engineering and physics amidst other courses. I was determined to pass, despite not having no interest at all for my course just to make my parents proud. 

I had friends, coach me constantly and tirelessly. (Shout out to Chigolum Obikile and Danbaba Abdullahi). At the end of the day, exams came and I failed the math and engineering course. I had to take a re-sit, I still failed again nevertheless. Woa, I had already exhausted all my opportunities, what was left to do was to go back to Nigeria to study cause even my visa would not let me start all over. 

I felt really broken as at that period feeling like a complete failure. I moved to a different apartment in Bristol where no one knew me, I practically locked myself away from the world including social media, my friends tried to contact me but to no avail. I was meant to go back to London to stay with my uncle but I rather remained in Bristol, I couldn’t even call my parents in Nigeria to inform them about my predicament, little did I know that the school had already informed them. For over two weeks I was home alone, starving because I was short on money and I had no intention of calling my dad anytime soon. I had to call in my school to find out if there was anything I could do but I wasn’t happy with their reply.

 I resorted to informing my parents with the mind of “que sera sera” and hoping they tell me what to do, practically planning my life for me. To my utmost surprise, my dad didn’t even yell at me, he rather spoke calmly to me asking me what I wanted to do, what my next step was, I could sense the disappointment in his voice anyway. I didn’t have a next step, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be in school at all, I foolishly blurted out “I want to study theatre art”, well that didn’t go well as it brought out the anger in him and he yelled that except I’m ready to come back to Nigeria and study Theatre arts in a roadside university, I should best call him when I’ve decided what I want to do with my life. He didn’t leave out the “I’m not ashamed, I don’t have my life together” pep talk.

That sank in, I thought to myself “I’ve really never sat down to actually plan my life and I have no purpose nor life goal”. I had no sense of direction, I just moved wherever the wind blew. I decided to go online and googled “How to plan your life”, I read articles, listened to podcasts, attended online webinars, watched YouTube videos, in order to find a purpose and balance in life. And gradually, my perspective of life changed. I was struck with the question, “If you were to succeed at anything you do, what would you rather do?” I realized that I had never pictured myself in a white collar job, I actually wanted to own my personal business, be my own boss and become an entrepreneur, a very successful and wealthy entrepreneur. I had the passion, the thirst and flare for business, I mean, I want to be top 5 on Forbes list one day (amen). The articles I read and videos I watched changed my outlook on life in just two weeks, it felt like a new me was born. I called my dad later on, I said “Daddy, I want to study business, anything related to business”, he told me I was still going to encounter mathematics as well, I was certain that I was ready to face it and deal with it. Long story short, I was given an offer to study Human Resource Management in Ghana. This was practically the first time in my entire life, I was excited to go to school and study, the first time I was anticipating my courses. I was going to school to gain knowledge and not just to obtain a certificate, I set goals and made plans for my future. I was no longer a “whatever comes my way” kind of girl, I became a goal setter and a go getter. This is where the quotes that says, “every disappointment is a blessing” comes in. That’s how I discovered myself.

Thanks for reading! If you read up till this point then I do hope I was able to inspire someone out there, If I did and/or you have anything to say please don’t forget to leave your comment below and anticipate my next article. Love you guys so much and thanks for the love.